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Preferred library: Lillooet Area Library Association?
Come as you are : the surprising new science that will transform your sex life Cover Image Book Book

Come as you are : the surprising new science that will transform your sex life

Nagoski, Emily. (Author).

Record details

  • ISBN: 9781476762098 (pbk.) :
  • ISBN: 1476762090 (pbk.) :
  • Physical Description: print
    xi, 400 pages ; 23 cm
  • Publisher: New York : Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, [2015]

Content descriptions

Bibliography, etc. Note: Includes bibliographical references (pages 367-388) and index.

Search for related items by subject

Subject: Sex instruction for women
Sexual health
Orgasm
Female orgasm
Women -- Sexual behavior
Women -- Health and hygiene

Available copies

  • 2 of 5 copies available at BC Interlibrary Connect.
  • 0 of 1 copy available at Lillooet Area Library Association. (Show)
  • 0 of 1 copy available at Lillooet Branch. (Show)

Holds

  • 1 current hold with 5 total copies.
Show Only Available Copies
Location Call Number / Copy Notes Barcode Shelving Location Holdable? Status Due Date
Lillooet Branch 613.9 NAG (Text) 35180000379486 Non-fiction Volume hold Checked out 2024-05-17
Dawson Creek Municipal Public Library 613.9 NAG (Text) DCL165731 Adult Non-Fiction Volume hold Available -
Grand Forks 613.9 NAG (Text) 35142002576972 Adult Non Fiction Volume hold Available -
Pouce Coupe Public Library 613.954 NAG (Text) 35333000346548 Non-Fiction Volume hold Checked out 2024-05-13
Williams Lake Branch 613.954 NAG (Text) 33923005541812 Non-fiction Not holdable Lost and Paid 2019-11-27
► Summaries & More
▼ Additional Content
Introduction: Yes, You Are Normal 1(14)
The True Story of Sex
The Organization of This Book
A Couple of Caveats
If You Feel Broken, or Know Someone Who Does
Part 1 The (Not-So-Basic) Basics
1 Anatomy: No Two Alike
15(27)
The Beginning
The Clit, the Whole Clit, and Nothing but the Clit
Meet Your Clitoris
Lips, Both Great and Small
Hymen Truths
A Word on Words
The Sticky Bits
Intersex Parts
Why It Matters
Change How You See
A Better Metaphor
What It Is, Not What It Means
2 The Dual Control Model: Your Sexual Personality
42(28)
Turn On the Ons, Turn Off the Offs
Arousability
What "Medium" Means
Different for Girls...but Not Necessarily
What Turns You On?
All the Same Parts, Organized in Different Ways
Can You Change Your SIS or SES?
3 Context: And the "One Ring" (to Rule Them All) in Your Emotional Brain
70(41)
Sensation in Context
Sex, Rats, and Rock 'n' Roll
Your Emotional One Ring
You Can't Make Them
"Is Something Wrong with Me?" (Answer: Nope)
Part 2 Sex In Context
4 Emotional Context: Sex in a Monkey Brain
111(42)
The Stress Response Cycle: Fight, Flight, and Freeze
Stress and Sex
Broken Culture Broken Stress Response Cycles
Complete the Cycle!
When Sex Becomes the Lion
Sex and the Survivor
Origin of Love
The Science of Falling in Love
Attachment and Sex: The Dark Side
Attachment and Sex: Sex That Advances the Plot
Attachment Style
Managing Attachment: Your Feels as a Sleepy Hedgehog
Survival of the Social
The Water of Life
5 Cultural Context: A Sex-Positive Life in a Sex-Negative World
153(38)
Three Messages
You Are Beautiful
Criticizing Yourself = Stress = Reduced Sexual Pleasure
Health at Every Size
"Dirty"
When Somebody "Yucks" Your "Yum"
Maximizing Yum...with Science! Part 1: Self-Compassion
Maximizing Yum...with Science! Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance
Maximizing Yum...with Science! Part 3: Media Nutrition
You Do You
Part 3 Sex In Action
6 Arousal: Lubrication Is Not Causation
191(32)
Measuring and Defining Nonconcordance
All the Same Parts, Organized in Different Ways: "This Is a Restaurant"
Nonconcordance in Other Emotions
Lubrication Error #1: Genital Response = "Turned On"
Lubrication Error #2: Genital Response Is Enjoying
Lubrication Error #3: Nonconcordance Is a Problem
Medicating Away the Brakes
"Honey..I'm Nonconcordant!"
Ripe Fruit
7 Desire: Actually, It's Not a Drive
223(40)
Desire = Arousal in Context
Not a Drive.For Real.
Why It Matters That It's Not a Drive
"But Emily, Sometimes It Feels Like a Drive!"
Impatient Little Monitors
Good News! It's Probably Not Your Hormones
More Good News! It's Not Monogamy, Either
"Isn't It Just Culture?"
It Might Be the Chasing Dynamic
Maximizing Desire...with Science!
Part 1: Arousing the One Ring Maximizing Desire...with Science!
Part 2: Turning Off the Offs Maximizing Desire...with Science!
Part 3: Desperate Measures Sharing Your Garden
Part 4 Ecstasy For Everybody
8 Orgasm: The Fantastic Bonus
263(28)
Nonconcordance—Now with Orgasms!
No Two Alike
All the Same Parts..
Your Vagina's Okay, Either Way
The Evolution of the Fantastic Bonus
Difficulty with Orgasm
Ecstatic Orgasm: You're a Flock!
How Do You Medicate a Flock?
Flying Toward Ecstasy
9 Meta-Emotions: The Ultimate Sex-Positive Context
291(40)
Can't Get No...
The Map and the Terrain
Positive Meta-Emotions Step 1: Trust the Terrain
Positive Meta-Emotions Step 2: Let Go of the Map (the Hard Part)
How to Let Go: Nonjudging
Nonjudging = "Emotion Coaching"
Nonjudging: Tips for Beginners
"No Good Reason"
Healing Trauma with Nonjudging
When Partners Dismiss!
Influencing the Little Monitor Part 1: Changing Your Criterion Velocity
Influencing the Little Monitor Part 2: Changing the Kind of Effort
Influencing the Little Monitor Part 3: Changing the Goal
"To Feel Normal"
"This Is It"
Conclusion: You Are the Secret Ingredient 331(6)
Why I Wrote This Book
Where to Look for More Answers
Acknowledgments 337(2)
Appendix 1: Therapeutic Masturbation 339(4)
Appendix 2: Extended Orgasm 343(4)
Notes 347(20)
References 367(22)
Index 389

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